DoM

I don't want to be hostile
I don't want to be dismal
But I don't want to rot in an apathetic existance either
See
I want to believe you
and I want to trust
and I want to have faith to put away the dagger

But you lie, cheat, and steal
And yet
I tolerate you
Veil of virtue hung to hide your method
while I smile and laugh and dance
and sing your praise and glory
Shroud of virtue hung to mask your stigma
as I smile and laugh and dance
and sing your glory
while you
lie, cheat, and steal
How can I tolerate you

Our guilt,our blame
I've been far too sympathetic
Our blood, our fault
I've been far too sympathetic

I will no longer tolerate you
Even if I must go down beside you
Because
Noone is innocent

It took so long to remember just what happened
I was so young and vestal then
you know it hurt me
but I'm breathing so I guess I'm still alive
even if signs seem to tell me otherwise
I've got my hands bound
my head down, my eyes closed
and my throat wide open

I'm treading water
I need to sleep a while
My lamb and martyr, you look so precious
Won't you come a bit closer
close enough so I can smell you
I need you to feel this
I can't stand to burn too long
Released in this sodomy
For one sweet moment I am whole

You're breathing so I guess you're still alive
even if signs seem to tell me otherwise
Won't you come just a bit closer
close enough so I can smell you
I need you to feel this
I need this to make me whole
There's release in this sodomy
For I am your witness that
blood and flesh can be trusted
And only this one holy medium brings me piece of mind

( Show me something
Thought I could make it end
Thought I could wash the stains away
Thought I could break the circle if I
Slipped right into your skin
So sweet was your surrender
We have become one
I have become my terror
And you my precious lamb and martyr.) *

I have found some kind of temporary sanity in this
shit blood and cum on my hands

I've come round full circle
My lamb and martyr, this will be over soon
You look so precious

There's a shadow just behind me
shrouding every breath I take
making every promise empty
pointing every finger at me
Waiting like a stalking butler
who upon the finger rests
Murder now the path called "must we"
just before the son has come
Jesus, won't you fucking whistle
something but the past and done?

Why can't we not be sober?
I just want to start this over
Why can't we drink forever
I just want to start things over

I am just a worthless liar
I am just an imbecile
I will only complicate you
Trust in me and fall as well
I will find a center in you
I will chew it up and leave
I will work to elevate you
just enough to bring you down

My compassion is broken now. My will is eroded
and my desire stolen and it makes me feel ugly
I'm on my knees and burning
My piss and moans are the fuel that set my head on fire
So smell my soul burning
I'm broken, looking up to see the enemy
I have swallowed the poison you feed me ..
but I survive on it
and it leaves me guilt fed, hatred fed, weakness fed
and I feel ugly, and dead inside

You've left me no choice but to go inside and rebuild
what's broken
Too much, too far, too late to lie down now
I must arm myself to fight you
by making weapons out of my imperfections
It's all I have left
There's no other choice
I'm shameless, nameless, nothing, and noone now
But my soul must be iron for my fear is naked
I'm naked and fearless
But I'm dead inside
You see... shit adds up, now I'm dead inside
Hatred, weakness, and guilt keep me alive
at the bottom

You crawled away from me
Slipped away from me
I tried to keep ahold
but there was nothing I could say
You slid and crept away
and there was nothing I could say
So what you're trying to say
is you don't wanna play
But what you want and what you need
doesn't mean fuck to me

My warning meant nothing
You're dancing in quicksand
Why don't you watch where you're wandering?
Why don't you watch where you're stumbling?
You're wading knee deep and going in
And you may never come back again

This bog is thick and easy to get lost in
when you're a stupid,dumb ass, beligerant fucker

Wander in and wandering
Noone even invited you in
But still you stumble in stumbling
So suffocate
or get out while you can

gone under two times
I've been struck dumb by a voice that
speaks from deep
beneath the cold black water
It's twice as clear as heaven
and twice as loud as reason
It's deep and rich like silt on a riverbed
and just as undisturbing
the currents mouth below me opens up around me
suggests and beckons all while swallowing
It surrounds and drowns and sweeps me away

shut up shut up shut up shut up
shut up shut up shut up shut up
you're saturating me
So how could I let this bring me
back to my knees again again again

under for the third time
I've been baptized by your voice
it screams from deep beneath the endless water
and it's half as high as heaven
and half as clear as reason
it's cold and and black like silt on the riverbed
But I'm so comfortable
Far too comfortable
Why don't you kill me
I'm weak and numb and insignificant
and I'm back on my knees
lost in euphoria
I'm back down. I'm in the undertow
I'm helpless and awake in the undertow
I'll die within your undertow
It seems there's no other way out of this undertow

Locked up inside you
like the calm beneath castles
is a cavern of treasures that
noone has been to
Let's go digging
Bring it out to take you back in

You won't do what you'd like to do
Lay back and let me show you another way
I'll kill what you want me to
take what's left and eat it
Take all or nothing
Life's just too short to push it away
Take it all
Take it all in
All the way in
Let it go
Let it go in
You won't feel what you'd like to feel
Lay back and let me show you another way

If you knock me down I'll come back running
knock you down
it won't be long now
All the way in
All the way
Take it up higher
4 degrees warmer
Give in now
and let me in
You'll like this in
Don't pull it out
It brings us closer than
dying and cancer and crying
Come on
You can take it all
Just like that

All I knew and all I believed
are crumbling images
that no longer comfort me
I scramble to reach higher ground
some order and sanity
or something to comfort me

So I take what is mine,and hold what is mine
suffocate what is mine, and bury what's mine
Soon the water will come
and claim what is mine
I must leave it behind
and climb to a new place now

The water is rising up on me
Thought the sun would come deliver me
but the truth has come to punish me instead

And the angel of the lord came unto me, snatching me up from my place of slumber. And took me on high, and higher still until we moved to the spaces betwixt the air itself. And he brought me into a vast farmlands of our own midwest. And as we descended, cries of impending doom rose from the soil. One thousand, nay a million voices full of fear. And terror possesed me then. And I begged, "Angel of the Lord, what are these tortured screams?" And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots! You see, Reverend Maynard, tomorrow is harvest day and to them it is the holocaust." And I sprang from my slumber drenched in sweat like the tears of one million terrified brothers and roared, "Hear me now, I have seen the light! They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers!" Can I get an amen? Can I get a hallelujah? Thank you Jesus